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onion

This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof

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The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:57
Rating: 4.665014
Views: 36282
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  Chicago  World's First Lesbian  Vladimir Putin  
 
Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are

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The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:48
Rating: 4.6733084
Views: 1339745
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

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Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:02
Rating: 4.9666157
Views: 1692720
 
Tags: News Room  comedy  funny  onion  satire  cnn  breaking  news  bullshit  The Onion  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works

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Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:54
Rating: 4.1412196
Views: 33493
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  Kelly  
 
Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

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The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 03:10
Rating: 4.911397
Views: 600212
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  teen  teenager  
 
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

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Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:36
Rating: 4.919146
Views: 543041
 
Tags: Onion  comedy  Booty Wave  K'ronikka  The Onion  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself

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Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:37
Rating: 4.9170446
Views: 124697
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  Today Now  Guinness World Records  
 
'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda

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An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at:...
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 02:47
Rating: 4.6441994
Views: 2659363
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

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Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 01:39
Rating: 4.9022818
Views: 1098534
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

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Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.
 
Author: TheOnion
 
Length: 03:02
Rating: 4.935094
Views: 1557107
 
Tags: The Onion  comedy  satire  news  Onion News Network  ONN  
 
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